COUCH POTATOES 1-2
by Courtney-chan
Summary: Shi-shi-o and Yumi are reincarnated in modern- time.... See what happens when they spend a little too much time in front of the Tele! See who wins Miss Meiji Japan!!
1. Default Chapter Title

  
  
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__________________________________________  
Disclaimer!: I didn't create Kenshin and it's characters! This is just  
what I do for fun!  
__________________________________________  
  
Couch Potatoes part 1  
__________________________________________  
  
13 year old Shishi-o and Yumi sit on a couch. It thunders and pours  
outside as the couple share some time alone with eachother.  
  
  
Shishi-o: It's good to be reincarnated.  
  
Yumi: As long as i'm with you, i'd go anywhere.  
  
Shshi-o: And maybe after puberty I'll start my Kuni-tori on Modern day   
Japan... *his eyes gleam dangerously*  
  
*Yumi placates him*  
  
Yumi: Umm, before you start that again, could you at least be a dear and   
pass me the remote control.  
  
{Shishi-o grumbles as he moves to the metal television set.  
The TV just so happens to be positioned near an open window.  
He places his sweaty palms atop the metal remote control which just happens  
to be situated on top that metal Television. Before he can remove the   
object, lighting strikes the antennae sending sparkling currents of   
electricity Down the antenna, through the telveision, through the remote   
control and through an unfortunate Shishi-o}  
  
Yumi screams.  
  
--30 minutes later--  
  
Yumi places the last of the bandages on a burnt Shishi-o.  
  
Yumi: Why didn't you let me call 911?  
  
Shishi-O: I'm okay. *an electric spark comes out of his uncovered fingertip*  
  
Yumi: Are you sure?  
  
Shishi-o: Yes... *he's unearthly calm*  
  
Yumi tries to lighten the atmosphere.  
  
Yumi: Well you look just like you did in the good old days.  
  
Shishi-o chuckles   
  
Shishi-o: I think this is a sign that I should continue my Kuni Tori...  
  
Yumi: Umm, I wonder if the TV's okay! I hope it's not broken.  
  
Her expression is hopeful as she turns to Shishi-o.  
  
Shishi-o: Why don't *YOU* go check. *still unearthly calm*  
  
Yumi shivers before getting up. She gathers the remote control  
and sits back down on the couch.  
  
Yumi: You really have the devil's luck.  
  
She turns on the television and the two nearly facefault at what they  
see.  
  
{:Click:}  
  
The room is dark save the single spotlight on Hajime Saitoh.   
He sits in a chair while taking a deep puff on his cigartte.  
  
Saitoh: Sure i've tried the patch. *deep inhale*   
*exhales a puff of smoke*  
  
{:Click:}  
  
Yumi: Why is *he* here???  
  
Shishi-o: Why are they still alive... and he didn't seem to age much either.  
  
YumI: Could it be the lightening??  
  
Shishi-o: Give me the remote...  
  
The two inhale deeply before Shishi-o presses the "Power" button.  
  
{:Click:}  
  
Kenshin wearing a red apron, holding a dish of Chicken Terriyaki.   
  
Kenshin: If Ken can cook... So can you!  
  
{:Click:}  
  
Yumi + Shishi-o: AHHHHHHH!!  
  
Yumi: This *can't* be happening!!!  
  
Shishi-o: This is a nightmare!!  
  
Yumi drops her head. As her head drops, she notices a shiny magazine.  
She studies it suspiciously before slowly getting up.  
  
*shishi-o buries his face in his hands.  
  
Shishi-o: What's the matter with you?  
  
Yumi: Shh!  
  
She picks up a baseball bat.  
  
Shishi-o: Don't you go breaking the television! My parents will kill me!!  
  
Yumi ignores him and touches the bat to the shiny magazine.  
She pokes at it until she realizes it's safe. She picks it up  
and sits down next to Shishi-o.  
  
Shishi-o: What's that in your hand??   
  
Yumi: Looks like a manual... or a TV guide.  
  
ShishI-o takes it from her.  
  
He begins reading.  
  
[~~You have gained access to the "Celestial Satelite" corporation.~~]  
  
Yumi + Shishi-o: "Celestial Satelite"?  
  
they continue reading.  
  
[~~ Yes, Celestial satelite. We wish to reward you for surviving death  
and saving us the cost another meaningless reincarnation. The real  
consolation is that we have taken images and people from your past life,   
and consructed programs for your viewing pleasure. While some programs are   
created, most of them will be live broadcasts from the Meiji Restoration  
period!~~]  
  
Yumi + Shishi-o: Oh no...  
  
[~~ Oh yes! The Meiji Restoration! Now you can have the best of your old   
world with the click of a button! Before you continue on to the listing  
and times of the various programs, We think it's helpful to let you know  
that approximately 3 years have passed since you two died.  
  
Programs we highly suggest and have high ratings among our Nearly Departed  
are:  
  
"Ken can Cook"  
"How to Be a Battousai"  
"All my Aoiya's"  
"Tea with Tae"  
"The Real World"  
"Hiko and Pals"  
  
Besides those fabricated programs, You will have the privelidge of  
viewing *the* actual 3rd annual "Miss Meiji" pageant!! It is being prepared  
for as we speak in your past life. Because of our technology, you will   
recieve the live broadcast from Meiji Japan 5 days from today! There will be   
5 more showings after this in case you missed it the first time!!  
  
We hope you are as excited as we are!! Have fun thumbing through our  
listings and we hope you enjoy!~~]  
  
Yumi stared in disbelief. She didn't even notice Shishi-o's menacial  
laughter.   
  
Shishi-o: I'm a genius. Because of my genius, we have contact with them  
*is suddenly calm* We can see them... but they can't see us.  
  
Yumi: I think i'm going home.  
  
######### Back in Meiji Japan #########  
  
Kenshin and Megumi pace nervously in front of the paper sliding doors of  
a grand house.  
  
"Kenhsin" Megumi touches his shoulder as she speaks.  
"Maybe we should wait until we get home. This is hardly the place."  
  
Kenshin stopped pacing and turned to Megumi. He rakes his fingers through  
the loosened ends of hair.  
  
"I know, but I don't want to see her have her hopes up for long.  
Once Kaoru sets her mind to something--"  
  
His words are stopped as Saitoh suddenly appears.  
"What are you doing here?" Kenshin asks, his voice as nervous as his   
mannerisms.  
  
"You are a judge as well I presume?" He takes a long drag of his cigarette  
as he speaks.  
  
Kenshin's eyes widen.  
"Don't tell me you are a judge too?!"  
  
Saitoh exahles as he removes his white gloves. They still smell like  
Tokio's lemony scented soap.  
  
"Himura Kenshin, Hajime Saitoh, Shinomori Aoshi, Seijiro Hiko, and  
Seta Soujiro."  
  
Kenshin narrowed his eyes.  
  
Megumi spoke.  
"Why are the judges all fine swordsmans?"   
  
Saitoh closed his eyes.  
"Battousai, I suggest you pull your woman form this contest. Tommorow  
the preliminaries will be held at the old court house..."  
Saitoh hands Kenshin an emvelope.  
"Maybe you can do some friendly persuasion."  
  
With that he left, leaving a startled Kenshin and Megumi.  
  
---Kyoto, same time---   
  
Misao walked nervously between Okon and Omasu.  
  
She felt worse than she should have. Tommorow would be the preliminaries.  
She glanced at Omasu in her beautiful red Kimono. She then glanced at her  
own silk, blue kimono as they turned the corner.  
  
::I have to lighten the atmosphere...::  
  
"Okon!"  
Misao exclaimed.  
  
"What is it?"  
Questioned the startled woman.  
  
"I-uh... I was wondering if you could umm... hmm..."  
  
It fell silent again as the three women made it back the fully restored  
Aoiya.  
  
They barely made it through the door when Jiya rushed towards them.  
  
"How'd it go?"  
  
Misao smiled a pained smile just before Aoshi walked into the entrance hall.  
  
"Aoshi-sama..." Misao tralied off as she plunged into her own thoughts.  
  
Jiya began to shake her shoulders.  
"How'd it go??"  
  
Misao snapped out of her trance.  
"Huh? Well.. uh."  
  
"Oh, don't be shy 'Miss Kyoto'."  
Okon finished.  
  
Jiya gave Misao a back breaking hug as a small smile crept across  
Aoshi's face. He almost immediately regained composure and walked towards  
Omasu.  
  
"And you?" he questioned.  
  
"There's only one 'Miss Kyoto', and Misao is it."  
  
Omasu winked at Misao, eliciting a teary-eyed smile from the girl.   
It was strange being choosen over someone she had idolized for practically  
her whole life. It made it muh easier to go forward with that support.  
  
Aoshi then turned to Misao. His expression was blank an unreadable.  
"Congratulations Misao... but I think you'd find it in your best interest  
to resign your title and leave the contest."  
  
######### 2 days later in Shishi-o's Living room in the real world #########  
  
Yumi sits comfortably on the couch.  
  
Yumi: A girl could get used to this.   
*She reaches for the remote control and clicks the Power button.*  
  
  
{:Click:}  
  
Voice: What if we told you you'd only pay $9.95 a month?  
  
Aoshi sits emotionless  
  
Voice: What if we told you that long distance calls are free on weekends?  
  
Aoshi sits emotionless.  
  
{:Click:}  
  
Yumi: Here it is!   
  
--Television--  
  
Kamatari walking down Broadway with hairy legs and pink pumps.  
  
Kamatari: Find out what happens--  
  
Sano in leather braced against a pole.  
  
Sano: When people stop being polite--  
  
Magdaria at church  
  
Magdaria: And start getting Real.  
  
Soujiro: The real world, New York.  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
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NOTES:  
  
1. Yes, there is a plot!  
  
E-mail me here  
with questions or comments!  
  
  
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Onto Part 2   
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Home!   
  
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__________________________________________  
Disclaimer!: I didn't create Kenshin and it's characters! This is just  
what I do for fun!  
__________________________________________  
  
Couch Potatoes part 2  
__________________________________________  
  
######### Shishi-o's Couch 1 day Later #########   
  
{:Click:}  
  
White background, Kaoru sits on an oversized red couch.  
  
Kaoru: That's why I use Tampax... Period.  
  
{:Click:}  
  
Shishi-o: I know way too much about her.  
  
{:Click:}  
  
Shishi-o: It's on!  
  
-Television-  
  
Voice: Welcome to Hiko and Pals!  
  
Hiko walks out with his "Baka deshi dummy"  
  
Hiko: Say hello dummy.  
  
(Baka Deshi Dummy) Kenshin: I'm not the dummy, you're the dummy.  
  
Hiko: No you're the dummy!  
  
Shishi-o: he he. *his laugh is in pure amusement*  
  
Yumi knocks on the door. He fumbles and quickly changes the channel.  
  
Shishi-o: Come in.  
  
Yumi: Hey! What are you watching?  
  
Shishi-o: Nothing much.  
  
######### Tokyo #########  
  
Kenshin tucked the envelope into his gi. A few moments later, Kaoru  
walked into the room with a blank expression.  
  
Megumi spoke.  
"What's wrong Kaoru?"  
  
Kaoru clenched her fists even more tightly as her eyes remained cast down.  
  
Kenshin gazed upon her with warm, violet eyes. He reached his hand to touch   
her shoulder.  
  
Kaoru raised her head abruptly.  
"Let's go home."  
  
Kenshin wacthed her with worry amd sympathy.   
He noded slowly as he placed his arm around her shoulder.  
"Uh... let's."  
  
---Kyoto, same time---  
  
Jiya turned to the Okashira.  
"Aoshi... What are you saying?"  
  
Aoshi seemed to ignore him.  
"What do you think Misao?"  
  
Misao recomposed herself. Her eyes were bright and determined as she look  
at her Okashira... the man she loved.  
  
"And I think it would be in my best interest for you not to be involved  
in such frivolities as my involvement in a beauty pageant. Now,  
will you excuse me?"  
  
Everyone watched her as she gracefully made her way up the stairs, blue  
Kimono sparkling brightly in the midday sun.  
  
Aoshi sighed deeply.   
  
"Aoshi, what was that all about?"  
  
"Jiya, may I speak to you privately?"  
  
---In the Kamiya Dojo---  
  
  
Yahiko was doubled over in laughter.  
  
"I can't believe you busu! You still keep going to those beauty   
pageant things"  
  
Yahiko continued laughing.  
"That dog Sano brought home has better chance than you."  
  
Yahiko stopped laughing as Kaoru walked past him silently.  
She went into her room and slid the door shut.  
  
Megumi grabbed Yahiko by the collar of his neck.  
She began to shake him like a ragdoll as she spoke.  
  
"You little idiot! This is not the time! Later you *will* apollogize  
to her."  
  
Megumi dropped him onto the ground as she and Kenshin made their way  
into the kitchen.  
  
It wasn't long before Sano came whistling in with what looked like  
enough food for a picnic.  
  
"Yo kenshin! Tae sent this for Jou-chan. Where is she anyway?"  
  
"In her room. I don't think she'll be out any time soon... things  
didn't seem to go to well..."  
  
Sano whistled a low, missle-like whistle.   
  
"I guess we all can't be Miss Meiji like Megumi. How does it feel to  
have your crown taken away."  
  
"It's not being taken away..." Megumi's tone was defensive "It's being   
passed on."  
  
"Let's eat!"  
  
Everyone traced the voice until their eyes made contact with the woman...  
It was Kaoru wearing a sash that spelled out  
"Miss Tokyo"  
  
"Way to go Jou-chan!" Sano yelled, his fishbone falling out of his mouth.  
  
"You did it Kaoru!" Yahiko exclaimed.  
  
Kenshin felt relieved.  
  
---Kyoto---  
  
"EH???"  
  
Jiya shouted.  
  
"You're a judge!"  
Tears began to stream down his face.  
"That means Misao will win for sure!!"  
  
"The other judges are, Seta Soujiro, Seijiro Hiko, Hajime Saitoh, and  
the HItokiri Batousai."  
  
Jiya became solemn.  
"What's going on?"  
  
Aoshi blew before taking a sip from his piping hot cup.  
  
"We suspect a sabatoge from a group of renegades. Kamatari has regrouped  
and formed something of a shin-juppongatana. The event could turn into  
the site of a mass assasination, as practically all of the current Meiji  
officials will be there. The original panel of judges were notified.   
The new panel was assembled to defend these officials from potential  
danger. Having Misao involved would only put her in harms way.   
Besides... the last thing I need is added distraction."  
  
Jiya nodded.  
"But perhaps it would be helpful?"  
  
Aoshi finished the last of his tea.  
"How could it be?"  
  
Okina began to stroke his beard.  
"Perhaps the entire Onibanshuu could assist. Having a fighter like Misao   
involved in the contest could be beneficial and safer for the other  
women involved."  
  
Aoshi's expression turned thoughtful.  
  
"If there was someone with some fighting skills involved in the actual   
contest, they would have acess backstage most of the time and  
they would have to keep in close proximity with the girls that were   
there. If the sabateours made a play for the women at least  
someone on our side would know."  
  
Aoshi stroked his chin.  
"You may be right..."  
  
Jiya regarded Aoshi with respect.  
"I think you should go see Misao."  
  
Aoshi nodded.  
  
*********  
  
Misao siezed the pillow on her futon and began to strangle  
it.  
  
"I can't believe him!!"  
  
She stood up and began to jeer Aoshi.  
"I think it would be in your best interest.. Grr!"  
  
She began to strangle the pillow some more.  
  
::Knock knock::  
  
Misao stood up again.  
  
"Misao?" a familiar voice called from behind the door.  
  
Misao froze.  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
"Um-- yes."  
  
The slid open revealing her Okashira.  
  
A lot has changed in 3 years...  
  
They sit across from eachother as Misao clutches her folded "Miss Koto" sash.  
  
They both begin to speak.  
"About what I said earlier--"  
  
They open their eyes in shock.  
  
"Can I speak first?"  
Misao asked.  
  
Aoshi nodded, his eyes a bit wider than usual.  
  
"I didn't mean to be so harsh... Being that you're the okashira, I should've   
kept in mind that there must have been a reason you suggested such a thing.  
Gomen for being so selfish... I was just caught off gaurd."  
  
Misao smiled at Aoshi. He almost gasped at her understanding.  
He began to gingerly rub the back of his neck. A lot has changed in  
3 years.  
  
When he realized what he was doing, he stopped almost immediately and cleared  
his throat.  
"Well, I realize that I worded things incorrectly. The least I could  
have done was give you an explanation instead of expecting you to follow  
blindly. In any case, I've changed my mind."  
  
Misao's expression brightened.  
"Really!"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Seriously?"   
  
"Yes."  
  
"Aoshi-sama are you kidding?"  
  
"No."  
  
::I've beat him this time!!::  
  
"I think you'll be of service to me."  
  
Misao's expression became solemn. Aoshi continued.  
  
"Well, do you remeber Kamatari?"  
  
---Same time, in Tokyo---  
  
"Yes, I remember."  
Kaoru eyed Kenshin warily.  
  
"Well, she-- he has basically reformed the Juppongatana. Saitoh  
suspects that they will strike at the pageant and assasinate the  
officials that attend."  
  
Kaoru nodded.  
"But it should be a good thing i'm in the contest."  
  
"Oro?"  
  
"Yes Kenshin, while the fine swordsmen sit in the audience judging,   
will there be any backstage protecting the women?"  
  
Keshin expression became thoughtful.  
  
"If no one is protecting the girls wouldn't it be a good thing If i'm there.   
How many women in that beauty pageant do you think practice Kamiya Kasshin   
Ryu?"  
  
Kenshin laughed.  
  
"That's true... but there's another problem... I'm one of the judges."  
  
---Same time Kyoto---  
  
"Aoshi-sama! You're a judge!!"  
  
Aoshi blushed slightly.  
"If you win, they might think it is because you are Oniwabanshuu."  
  
Misao laughed.  
"But Aoshi, there's nothing specail going on between us. If anything,  
i'd probably lose points because of you..."  
Misao's voice trailed off as she thought about what she just said.  
  
Aoshi thought about it as well.  
  
---Same time Tokyo---  
  
Kenshin and Kaoru fell silent.  
  
After all these years, nothing had happened between them.  
  
"Well I guess it's alright." said a dazed Kenshin.  
  
--- Same time Kyoto---  
  
"I wouldn't--"  
Aoshi stopped what he was saying.  
  
"So we leave tonight... yes?"  
  
Misao nodded.  
"yes. I should really change. I don't want to soil this Kimono."  
  
Aoshi regarded her. It would be a shame if it was destroyed.  
  
"You do that..." Escaped out of Aoshi's mouth "And Misao." he continued.  
  
"Eh?"  
She felt herself blush as she looked up.  
  
"Ganbatte."  
  
"Sure thing."   
  
  
######### 2 days later in Shishi-o's Living room in the real world #########  
  
{:Click:}   
  
Omasu supports Hiko as he staggers out of what apparantly seems like a   
party.  
  
Omasu: Give me the keys.  
*Scene freezes*  
Voice: Friends don't let friends--  
  
{:Click:}  
  
Yumi: Ah! Right on time!  
*she sits back and rests the remote*  
Shishi-o, hurry with the popcorn!!  
  
Shishi-o: But i'm still changing my bandages!  
  
Yumi: It's about to start!! Come on!! I'll dress your burns during the  
commercial break!  
  
Shishi-o: Fine.  
  
Across the Tv screen in fancy yellow cursive is "3rd Annual Miss Meiji"   
pageant.  
  
Voice: Welcome to the 3rd Annual Miss Meiji Pageant.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
NOTES:  
  
None!  
  
E-mail me here  
with questions or comments!  
  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Home! 


	2. Default Chapter Title

  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
__________________________________________  
Disclaimer!: I didn't create Kenshin and it's characters! This is just  
what I do for fun!  
__________________________________________  
  
Couch Potatoes part 3  
__________________________________________  
  
######### Yokohama, Night of the Pageant #########  
  
"I'm soo happy for you Kaoru!"  
Misao squeezed Kaoru in a manner that rivaled Jiya's.  
  
"Me too Misao! You were always beautiful but kami-sama has treated you   
especailly well these past three years."  
  
Misao did a mock bow.  
"Arigatou gozaimasu... Or do you prefer Arigatou de gozaru."  
  
Kaoru chuckled.  
"That's true, But Misao-chan, how'd you know Kenshin was a judge?"  
Kaoru asked.  
  
It was then that Misao became serious.  
"That's right! Kaoru, we've *got* to talk."  
  
######### Shishi-o's couch that same night #########  
  
Yumi pops a kernel in her mouth.  
  
Yumi: Oh shut up already! Those announcer's just won't stop talking.  
  
--Television--  
  
Male Voice: But what i'm most impressed with is the panel of judges. I don't  
Know if I should be hiding or hollering!  
  
Female voice: You're right, our five judges have great notoriety--- I mean  
fame in Japan.   
  
Yumi throws some Popcorn at the Television.  
  
Yumi: Shishi-o, where have you gone *now*!  
  
Shishi-o: Shut up woman.   
  
######### Audience in Yokohama #########  
  
Yahiko stands next to Sano.  
  
"This is so fancy... Why do we have to wear these western clothes anyways."   
Yahiko adjusted the collar of his white blouse.  
  
"Shut up and smile!"  
Sano whispered as he nudged his arm.  
  
A old man in a traditional kimono passed by with younger woman on his arm."  
  
Yahiko motioned to Sano.  
"Hey, look at who that old guy is with!"  
  
Sano was about to smack Yahiko until he realized who it was.  
"Yahiko... That's Megumi..."  
  
Yahiko nearly spat his drink out.  
"That's Megumi!!"  
Yahiko took a closer look and began to grin.  
  
"And I thought she was foxy in her doctor gettup... I didn't even   
recognize her in those expensive clothes."   
  
All Sano could do was stare.   
  
Yahiko continued to speak.  
"What's she doing with that mummy anyways... He probably paid her  
to walk around with him... or maybe they're together??"  
  
Sano's eyes bulged out as he grabbed the collar of Yahiko's neck.  
  
"Don't be stupid!"  
He began to shake Yahiko like a ragdoll.  
"Megumi's not like that--"  
  
Sano stopped as he noticed the small crowd that gathered around them.   
  
He released the boy and began to pat him on the back.  
"Are you okay now? That's why I told you not to drink too fast... he he..."  
  
When the crowd finally dissipated, Sano sighed in relief.  
  
---Backstage---  
  
"So Aoshi told you?"  
  
Misao nodded.  
  
"Looks like he's finally beggining to open up to you."  
  
Misao fumed and turned SD.  
"No way!! He doesn't even notice me!"  
  
Kaoru waved her hand dissmisively.  
"Whatever you say..."  
  
"Mou!! What about you and Kenshin... It wouldn't be fair if your  
husband was a judge!"  
  
A few girls looked in the general direction of Misao.  
"Did you just hear something?"  
  
Kaoru covered Misao's voice.  
"You be quiet! Kenshin and I haven't even kissed yet."  
  
She eased her hold on Misao.  
"Besides, we have to get dressed. They're probably starting soon."  
  
"You're right... And we have to keep our eyes peeled."  
  
"Misao-chan, do you need help with your make-up?"  
  
"Thanks Kaoru."  
  
---The judges area.---  
  
Saitoh's lean body seemed to glow in his tuxedo. And for once, his  
white gloves weren't the least bit inappropriate.  
  
He moved to Aoshi who proved to be equally elegant if not more in his black   
formal Kimono.  
  
"I see you've notified your fellow Oniwa Banshuu."  
  
Aoshi nodded.  
"Do you think that girl of yours is safe here."  
  
Aoshi's eys twitched once before he nodded again.  
  
"Both you and Himura seem think they can stand a chance against those   
attackers..." He paused to notice a slight flinch in Aoshi's expression.  
"In any case, keep a close eye on the officials... never let your  
gard down."  
  
With that Saitoh walked away.  
  
######### In a building two blocks away #########  
  
"Big-K... no one else seems to be entering the building."  
  
Suddenly a pigeon flew into the window landing on one of the cloaked   
figures.  
  
The cloaked figure removed the paper attached to the birds leg.  
He briefly glanced at the paper before looking up.  
  
"It has begun."  
Sounded a muffled voice.  
  
######### Shishi-o's couch #########  
  
Yumi: Even in casual Kimonos they're beautiful.  
  
--Television--  
  
Male Oficial's Voice: Miss Kobe  
  
Yumi's eyes twitch.  
  
Yumi: Well.. at least most of them. How'd *SHE* get on here??  
  
--Television--  
  
Megumi: Miss Kobe, if you had one wish, what would it be.  
  
Miss Kobe: *pause* hmm... To give everyone enough rice to eat.  
  
Megumi: *eye twitching* Thank you.  
  
Writing appears on the Tv Screen as the judges display their scores onstage   
with white boards.  
  
~Score (out of 10):  
  
~Hiko: 1.5  
~Himura: 9.0  
~Hajime: 2.2  
~Soujiro: 9.9  
~Shinomori: 7.2  
  
~Total: 29.8  
  
######### Yokohama, same night. Beauty Pageant ##########  
  
Soujiro was smiling as usual.   
  
Saitoh managed to notice someone walk inside.  
  
"Shinamori, who's next?"  
  
Aoshi looked as his list and swallowed.  
"Miss Kyoto." he said pointedly.  
  
"Miss Kyoto... give her a 9.8 for me... I'll be right back."  
  
Aoshi nodded.  
  
Saitoh left his seat, unnoticed by all.  
  
The Official continued.  
"Miss Kyoto."  
  
Misao didn't feel nervous yet. She couldn't feel anything as a matter of   
fact. She pasted a dazzling smile on her face, focusing her attention  
on sounds from the door... Besides, this was just casual wear.   
  
Aoshi slyly reached for Saitoh's white board. He continued to watch the   
stage.  
  
######### Shishi-o's Couch #########  
  
Yumi: She's pretty I guess... But I look better.  
  
Yumi popped more popcorn in her mouth.  
  
--Television--  
  
Megumi: If you could meet anyone past, present, or future, who would it   
be?  
  
Misao: My grandfather. I've never seen him, but he's had the greatest   
impact on my life. I'd just want to thank him.   
  
######### Yokohama, Pageant #########  
  
Aoshi wrote down his score ~9.8~  
  
He moved to Saitoh's board remebering what he was told ::Give her a 9.8::  
Aoshi wrote down Saitoh's score ~9.9~  
He smiled a ghost of a smile.  
"That's more like it."   
  
  
~Score (out of 10):  
  
~Hiko: 9.7  
~Himura: 9.7  
~Hajime: 9.9  
~Soujiro: 9.9  
~Shinomori: 9.8  
  
~Total: 49.0  
  
  
######### Shishi-o's couch some time later #########  
  
Shishi-o come out wrapped up in aluminum foil.  
  
Yumi: What are you doing??  
  
Shishi-o: I'm going to that contest... something big's happening  
tonight.  
  
Yumi buries her hands in her head.  
  
Yumi: You can't get into the Television.  
  
Shishi-o: Have you seen "Stay Tuned".  
  
Yumi sweatdrops.  
  
Shishi-o: besides, I've learnt some codes...  
  
--Television--   
  
Yahiko wearing a red and white baseball cap with a black tee-shirt  
and blue jeans.  
  
Yahiko: Charmelion I choose you!!  
  
Voice: RKmon, weekdays at 7 on the WB  
  
Suddenly screen goes blank only to return with "3rd Annual Miss Meiji"   
pageant Across the Tv screen.  
  
Welcome back!  
Our five finalist are in this order:  
  
~ Miss Sapporo 49.5  
~ Miss Tokyo 49.2  
~ Miss Kyoto 49.1  
~ Miss Nagoya 47.6  
~ Miss Yokohama 47.5  
  
Male Voice: Is it Just me, or is Seta Soujiro giving everyone the same   
score?  
  
Female voice: In any case, the women that have made it really deserve it.  
All that's left is evening wear, and then the question round.  
  
Male Voice: It's a really close battle, but my personal favorite is Miss   
Tokyo.  
  
Female voice: I like Miss Kyoto... she's got confidence and spunk.  
  
Male: But everyone else seems to favor Miss Yokohama.  
  
Female: She's the under dog that managed to sneak in... Maybe she'll  
pull it off??  
  
######### Yokohama, one block away #########  
  
"The eagle has landed. Big-k is safely in the building. All soldiers  
on standby. We're waiting for the sign. 1 if by hand... 2 if by feet."  
  
######### Pageant, backstage #########  
  
Kaoru zipped the back of Misao's long western, evening gown.  
The two women suddenly froze.  
  
"Shh!... Misao, did hear that?"  
Kaoru whispered.  
  
Misao nodded before grabbing Kaoru's hand.   
"Someone has to go notify Aoshi..."  
  
Kaoru looked around.  
"You should go, you're quicker... besides, that dress is much lighter than   
this Kimono."  
  
Misao nodded.  
"Be careful"  
  
Kaoru winked.  
"I'll be fine."  
  
Misao slid around the curtain. She used her ninja skills to creep towards   
the judges section.  
  
She hid behind a thin curtain.  
  
"Aoshi."  
She whispered.  
  
He didn't even flinch.  
  
"Aoshi." she whispered more loudly.  
  
"Aoshi" her tone more demanding. She clenched her fist before preceeding  
to remove one of her shoes. She chucked it at Aoshi knocking him clean in   
the skull. He still didn't flinch.  
  
She preceeded to remove her other shoe when a hand grabbed her arm.  
  
"What are you doing here? Go backstage."  
  
She looked up to find Saitoh looming over her.  
  
"They're here."  
  
"Of course Ahou."  
  
"No, you don't understand... They're backstage! I think they attacked   
someone."  
  
Saitoh nodded.  
"In that case, stay here."  
  
"What??"  
  
With that, Saitoh returned to his seat. He whispered something to  
Aoshi.  
  
Misao saw Aoshi nod so she waited. She gaped when he remained seated.  
"What are they doing!!"  
  
The Oficial then came out.  
"Now onto formal evening wear. We will begin in no particular order.   
Miss Nagoya."  
  
The curtain parted revealing someone in a red western dress.  
They wore the "Miss Nagaoya" sash... But it wans't Miss Nagoya.  
  
The official gaped: Where's Miss Nagoya.  
  
Kenshin spoke.  
"I guess it has begun."  
  
Hiko nodded.  
"Yes, baka deshi."  
  
Misao emerged from the curtain and gaped as well.  
  
"... K-K amatari!"  
  
"Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen... This is where the fun begins."  
Kamatari grinned.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
NOTES:  
  
1. One more part... The big finish is yet to happen ^_^  
2. When I listed the judges, I worte the names so that H's could be  
together and S's could be togther... so I might have used   
someone's surname instead of their name or vice versa...   
Sue me! =:P ^_^  
  
E-mail me here  
with questions or comments!  
  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Part 4   
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Home!   
____________________________________________________________________________  
Disclaimer!: I didn't create Kenshin and it's characters! This is just  
what I do for fun!  
__________________________________________  
  
Couch Potatoes part 4 (final)  
__________________________________________  
  
###### Yokohama, Night of the Pageant ######  
  
Kamatari: Sorry to spoil such a *lovely* occasion, but we've got a score   
to settle.  
  
*evil grin creeps across his face*  
  
Kamatri: As we speak, your precious ladies are being tended to backstage.  
  
###### Yokohama, Backstage ######  
  
A barrage of men in black (no pun intended) approach the women.  
  
Man 1: Ladies, we'll need your cooperation...  
  
Man 2: Unless you want to die...  
  
*all of them pull out swords*  
  
Man 3: And we wouldn't want that...  
  
Kaoru steps out with her bokken.  
  
Kaoru: Have you any honor? How dare you attack us like this? As far  
as i'm concerned, there will be no blood shed here tonight...  
  
Man 4: *insert chuckle* Is that so?  
  
Kaoru: Not as long as i'm here... Girls, run!  
  
*Silence*  
  
Kaoru: I said run!  
  
*Silence*  
  
Kaoru turns around before sweatdropping at what she sees. The women   
have weapons in their hands ranging from rolling pins, to swords,  
to chains and whips. The men in black sweatdrop as well.  
Kaoru turns around with a defiant gleam in her eye.  
  
Kaoru: Well, let's begin, shall we??  
  
######### Shishi-o's Couch #########  
  
Yumi: I can't believe you're making me do this!  
  
Shishi-o: We'll be there soon!  
  
Yumi looks down at the aluminum foil wrapped around her.  
  
Yumi: You watch way too much television... I don't see how this will work.  
  
Shishi-o sighs.  
  
Shishi-o: Move a little to the left.  
  
Yumi reluctantly steps left causing the aluminum foil around her shin to   
fall.  
  
Shishi-o grins from behind the Television set.  
  
Shishi-o: Raise your right arm.  
  
Yumi raises her arm causing the TV to glow.  
Yumi's eyes widen with shock.  
  
Yumi: what just happened?  
  
Shishio chuckles.  
  
Shishi-o: A molecular jump caused by the sudden influx of the radiation   
signals. By merely adjusting the configuration of the paneling,  
I have created a window...  
  
Yumi: But how??  
  
Shishi-o: Where's the remote.  
  
######### Yokohama #########  
  
Kamatari: *insert chuckle* You shall see the power of the Shin-juppongatana.  
  
*motions backstage*  
  
Kamatari: Shall we bring out one of your lovely ladies... Rolph!  
  
*silence*  
  
Kamatari: Rolph!  
  
---Judges corner---  
  
Himura leans over to Saitoh.  
  
Himura: Something must have happened.  
  
Saitoh: Most likely.  
  
Aoshi unsheaths his Katana.  
  
Saitoh: What are you doing?  
  
Aoshi sits still.  
  
Aoshi: Did you feel that? The atmosphere...  
  
Himura: The air... it's like lightening.  
  
--- Onstage---  
  
KamaTari: Rolph!  
  
Suddenly, Kamatari gasps.  
  
Kaoru slowly drags a man in black onto the stage.  
  
Misao gasps.  
  
Misao: Kaoru?  
  
Kaoru: Is this Rolph?  
  
Suddenly two more girls in ripped clothing drag more men onto the  
stage.  
  
Girl 1: *dragging a man in black* Is this Rolph?   
  
Girl 3: *dragging a man in black* Maybe this is Rolph?  
  
Girl 7: *dragging a man in black* This might be Rolph, he's got an "R"   
embroidered on his shirt.  
  
More girls continue to pile unconcious men in black onto the stage.  
  
---Judges corner---  
  
Kenshin: ... *sweatdrops*  
  
Saitoh: ... *sweatdrops*  
  
Soujiro: ... *smiling*  
  
Aoshi: ... Hm?... It's coming from over there... Misao, get away from there!  
  
######### Shishi-o's couch #########  
  
The living room is surrounded by blue, electric light.  
  
Shishi-o: It's opened!  
  
Yumi: Ahh!  
  
Shishi-o: Just one more button...  
  
######### Yokohama #########  
  
Misao: Eh?... Ahhh!!  
  
She is suddenly blasted straight into the judges panel by what seems  
to be blue lightnening. She lands on Soujiro who catches her just in time.  
  
Kenshin: The lightening... is blue.  
  
Hiko: It looks like a portal.  
  
All the judges are now armed.  
  
The crowd gasps as something begins to protude out of the electrically  
charged hole... Shishi-o's couch.  
  
Kenshin: Shihshi-o?  
  
Soujiro gasps. Kamatari gasps.  
  
Kamatari: I knew you would come... You came back for me...  
*tears form in his eyes*  
Kamatari: Shishi-o sama...  
  
Shishi-o: So we meet again-- Nani?  
  
The couch begins to move the other way. Koaru gasps.  
  
Shishi-o: Why am I going back?  
  
Kenshin: He's leaving...  
  
Misao: What's going on??  
  
Shishi-o: No!!!  
  
Suddenly, the portal closes.  
  
Kenshin: What was that?  
  
Saitoh: I don't even know myself.  
  
All the judges save Soujiro turn towards the stage. They watch Kamatari and  
the pile of unconcious men.  
  
Kamatari: Shishi-o sama left without me... again.  
  
Kenshin: I thought he was dead... Was this Kamatari's doing?  
  
Saitoh: He may be more dangerous than we thought.  
  
Hiko: He can summon the dead...   
  
Aoshi: What magic was that?  
  
Saitoh: The real question is, What was able to stop it??  
  
######### Shishi-o's couch #########  
  
Shishi-o: Che. I was so close! What interfered?  
  
Yumi: This doesn't look good...  
  
Shishi-o: What?  
  
Yumi: The TV's gone.  
  
Shishi-o: What??  
  
Yumi: Yes... and there's a red booklet on the floor.  
  
Shishi-o picks up the booklet.  
  
[~You have breeched code 46 of your contract with Celestial Satellite   
Corporation. You are no longer eligable for reception of our programming,  
and are no longer eligable for reincarnation. The rest of this booklet   
entails the cost of your teleportation and legal fees...~]  
  
Yumi & Shishi-o: Legal fees??  
  
[~ Yes, legal fees. You are being sued and at your request, being provided  
an attorney.~]  
  
Yumi and Shishi-o faint.  
  
######### Yokohama #########  
  
Kamatari sits in handcuffs.  
  
Hiko: Well, the winner of the third annual Miss Meiji pagent is...  
Miss Tokyo, Kamiya Kaoru  
  
Kaoru walks onstage with a toothy smile.  
  
--- The judges corner---  
  
Kenshin: *smiling* Kaoru-dono.  
  
Hiko nudges Kenshin as Megumi places the crown atop her head.  
  
Misao finally comes to.  
  
Misao: What happens.  
  
Soujiro looks down and smiles.  
  
Soujiro: Are you okay?  
  
Misao nods.  
  
Misao: I think so...   
  
Aoshi glances at Misao and Soujiro.  
  
Saitoh: A match made in heaven ne?  
  
Aoshi's expression falters.  
  
Soujiro: Can you stand?  
  
Misao gazes into his deep eyes.  
  
Misao: *breathless* Hai...  
  
Aoshi: Ahem... Are you alright Misao?  
  
Misao: Aoshi-sama?  
  
######### 4 days later, Hannya's couch #########  
  
A 6 year old Hannya sits in front of his TV set.  
  
--Television--  
  
It's time for Hiko and Friends!  
  
Hiko: Hello boys and girls!  
*pulls out Baka deshi dummy*  
  
Baka deshi dummy (kenshin): Howdy doody??  
  
*Hiko thwaps kenshnin's head*  
Hiko: Baka! Don't say that name! Anyways boys and girls, let's go see   
our Friends.  
  
The screen swirls until we see a pink and red room. There is a dog house   
in the corner and a futon where Ayame and Suzume jump.  
  
Ayame: I don't know how to jump.  
  
Suzume: I'll teach you...  
  
::Ding Dong::  
*the door bell rings. Ayame and Suzume run to the door*  
  
Suzume: Who is it?  
  
Hiko: It's me, Hiko-niisan.  
  
*They hastily open the door and yell*  
  
Ayame and Suzume: Hiko-niisan!!  
  
*Hiko hugs the girls*  
Hiko: So what have you two been up to?  
  
Suzume: I was going to teach Ayame how to jump.  
  
Ayame: Can Hiko-niisan help?  
  
*Hiko smiles*  
Hiko: Sure! And maybe Sano-kun wants to help.  
  
*Ayame and Suzume cheer as Hiko walks over to the dog house*  
  
Hiko: Here boy!  
  
*A low, angry growl is heard from the dog house*  
  
*Hiko squints his eyes*  
Hiko: Maybe I didn't say that correctly... for the sake of your paycheck,  
Here Sano-kun!  
  
*Sanosuke bounds out of the dog-house in a dinosaur-suit*  
  
Ayame & Suzume: Sano-kun!!  
  
  
~~An 18 year old Beshimi walks into the room.~~  
  
Beshimi: What are you watching?  
  
*He picks up the remote control and notices a fork sticking out of the  
nearby outlet.*  
  
---Click---  
  
Voice: We now return to "All My Aoiya's"  
  
Misao opens the front door.  
  
Misao: Tadia--  
*She drops her package as the cameras zoom into the startled faces  
of Aoshi and Megumi who share a blanket.*  
  
Aoshi: Misao!  
  
---Hannya's couch---  
  
Behsimi: Aoshi-sama??  
  
  
~OWARI... maybe~   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
NOTES:  
  
1. Yay!! I completed this fic!! *wipes away tear* Yay!! ^_^  
2. There *may* be more sidestories for this little fic... But I won't  
make promises...   
  
  
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